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Old 12-24-2017, 10:40 AM
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... as I trash this abomination, a freak of nature, a disgusting piece of absolute worthless thundering shit, that is Last fucking Jedi.

This might as well be a franchise killer. No joke here, this was so bad, it might as well kill the entire history of Star Wars. Goddamn it, TFA was average, but AT LEAST it padded the way for some solid foundations and mysteries, that SHOULD have been explained in the sequel. NOTHING was resolved, NOTHING was explained, even more bullshit moments implemented. I don't even know where to fucking start, there are TONS of blatanly stupid moments.

Okay, I'll begin with some good, that this movie has. What? Am I serious? Indeed, despite being a mortifying terribly written garbage, it still has excellent visuals and a solid OST. See, in this movie they used CGI together with live action, perfectly blending them together. There were films, that utilized shit like green screen or full-blown CGI eveywhere, like Thor. Well, Last Jedi doesn't do that, the visual effects themselves are very natural and cool to look at, they kept CGI to a minimum. The OST is fantastic, it really gives that lingering nostalgic Star Wars feel, while being epic at the same time. Sound designers did a spectacular job.

Aaaaand, that's it. Everything else is uninspired stupid trash worthy of wild monkey's excrement. I'll describe some of the moments I had the most *fun* time watching.

- Luke and his character. Why the fuck is he a hobo in the middle of nowhere? Yes, Kylo Ren destroyed his school, but is that really a reason to abandon everything and just... disappear?
The movie shows him telling Rey to go away, but LITERAL seconds later he already teaches her? What the fuck happened? Did they accidentally skip a whole footage of material or something?
His death is the most brutal, though. In the meaning of Rian clearly disrespecting this character, he simply spit in the face of SW fans. So get this, Luke used an APPARITION of himself, while helping Rey and her friends, but he SOMEHOW dies? How in the shit is this possible?

- Rey
Yes, she is a Mary Sue. Do not delude yourself into thinking otherwise. Everything is given to her on the silver platter.

1. She has no experience as a pilot, but somehow is capable of piloting a goddamn motherfucking Millenium Falcon.
2. She had Force for a WEEK tops, yet she somehow can utilize it on almost perfect level.
3. She had no training with lightsaber, she doesn't know any of the forms, yet she somehow beats LUKE FUCKING SKYWALKER and KYLO REN, who are infinitely more experienced then her.
4. We don't know shit about her parents, but who cares, right?
5. The Resistance tries to find Luke for YEARS, yet she somehow finds him almost immediately?
6. Likewise, no experience with guns, yet she, somehow, shoots imperial troopers like it's nothing.

Holy fucking shit, what a trash character.

- Kylo Ren
There isn't a single moment in a movie, where he didn't change his mood dozen times a second. Instead of a dark adept all I see is a whiny lame Revan\Darth Vader wannabe, who can't even fix his own lightsaber.

- First Order and the Resistance
How the fuck is Resistance so small in numbers? They were ruling the Galaxy for 30 years, correct? What happened? How the fuck is First Order so powerful? Where did they come from? WHO. CARES.

There were plenty more, but I'm too tired and too ANGRY to write a more coherent review right now, so bare with me, people.
Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford were right. This movies is unredeamable piece of broken shit, that needs to be buried and forgotten.
Fuck Last Jedi and fuck Rian for creating this flick full of forced diversity, plotholes and dead dreams. I'm done.

Also, fuck Daisy Ridley in particular for calling us *sexist*. How dare theeeey, right?
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Old 12-24-2017, 02:30 PM
Tycho Tycho is offline
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I am so glad I'm not a diehard Star Wars fan. So, so glad. (Instead I get to deal with BattleTech getting skullfucked forever by HBS and Piranha.)
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Old 12-24-2017, 04:30 PM
drazac drazac is offline
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... ooh, wait.
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  #4  
Old 12-25-2017, 12:44 AM
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Amen...
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:35 PM
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Not into the new movies so wouldn't mind spoilers

Is there any SJW pandering in the movies?
FYI, I personally don't mind adding diversity to the cast as long as it isn't forced i.e using "Token" characters instead of real actors. That being said is there any such forced diversity or other form of SJW pandering besides Mary Sue in the lead role?
Naturally keep your emotion in check while replying, if it gets too offensive thread might get closed down
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Old 12-25-2017, 05:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chthon View Post
Is there any SJW pandering in the movies?
FYI, I personally don't mind adding diversity to the cast as long as it isn't forced i.e using "Token" characters instead of real actors. That being said is there any such forced diversity or other form of SJW pandering besides Mary Sue in the lead role?
Naturally keep your emotion in check while replying, if it gets too offensive thread might get closed down
Yes. First Order vs La Resistance is basically women in control of rebel fleet (failing at that spectacularly) against evil space Nazi men. The battle, which... the latter actually win, due to their far more competent strategy. I'm not joking. Lots of *professional* reviews and commentaries before and after the premier clearly indicate an agenda.

Yes. Finn is useless. Might as well be a background character at this point. His side plot with Rose is nothing more than a gigantic filler, full of deus ex machinas. They basically made it to show how EVIL rich people are on the Casino planet and trying to get at least some screen time for completely irrelevant characters.
But in the end of the day they ruined everything for poor people included. Also, this side plot is literally useless, because of the stupidity of that purple head general in command.
Also, since they are basically background characters, you can substitute Rose and Finn with anyone else - nothing will change.

Some more scenes of bullshit:

- Mary Poppins a la Superman Leia.
- The entire mutiny scene is stupid due to, again, the general purple head being an idiot, who don't trust her subordinate, who already performed worthy feats, including blowing up the second fucking deathstar.
- Why the hell they didn't use the hyper cutter drive jump earlier, if it's so effective?
- How convenient for a mastah hacka to be in the same jail cell with heroes, when they were just looking for one. Why didn't he release himself sooner then?
- Luke's death scene is a fucking crime to humanity as a whole. Fuck Rian in the ass for ruining it and making Mark Hamill almost cry.
- The entire Phasma scenes. 3 of them. In two of which she's getting her ass kicked.
- Snoke. Who was he? Who were Knights of Ren? No one gives a shit.

And no, it's very hard to be polite at this point. Look at Mark Hamill. Look at him and say you don't feel anger.

https://youtu.be/eZlw64mI228?t=45s
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A Taste of Things to come soon...

Cadence falls on the skull,
It cracks with a thunderous roar,
A Raging Beast in pain.
It screams, it tears the flesh, it crushes the bones...
With the Force of a thousand Bulls,
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Last edited by Autentist; 12-25-2017 at 05:53 PM.
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  #7  
Old 12-25-2017, 06:06 PM
Norzan Norzan is offline
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I'm not even a fan of Star Wars and i'm kind of pissed about how Luke was handled in the Last Jedi. Instead of going down like a badass fighting impossible odds, he uses a projection of himself with the force and then just dies after that.

Lame to the highest degree.
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Old 12-25-2017, 06:44 PM
Kralw Kralw is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Norzan View Post
I'm not even a fan of Star Wars and i'm kind of pissed about how Luke was handled in the Last Jedi. Instead of going down like a badass fighting impossible odds, he uses a projection of himself with the force and then just dies after that.

Lame to the highest degree.
I guess people don't understand the fact that he didn't die...He became one with the force stronger than you could even ever imagine (yeah this is a quote from memory of Obi Wan facing Darth Vador in A New Hope) guess it was too subtle of a throw back for "fan" to remember.

I actually loved the Movie will need to re-watch with a cold head outside of theater to officially rank this one among the other Star Wars Movie.

No it ain't better than Empire Strike Back (nothing in the Star Wars Universe will probably ever be better than that one) but it is in the upper half in term of how good the movie was (obviously ahead of all 3 Prequels and IMO better than Force - and Rogue One. Next year after watching it 2-3 more time I will make a more definitive idea as this point I guess it will end between New Hope and RoTJ)
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Old 12-25-2017, 06:47 PM
Tycho Tycho is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kralw View Post
I guess people don't understand the fact that he didn't die...He became one with the force stronger than you could even ever imagine (yeah this is a quote from memory of Obi Wan facing Darth Vador in A New Hope) guess it was too subtle of a throw back for "fan" to remember.
Dude was dead. Obi-Wan was dead too, and so was Yoda. Just because Obi-Wan and Yoda became Force Ghosts after the fact doesn't mean they didn't die, because they definitely did. You're splitting hairs.
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Old 12-25-2017, 06:56 PM
Norzan Norzan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kralw View Post
I guess people don't understand the fact that he didn't die...He became one with the force stronger than you could even ever imagine (yeah this is a quote from memory of Obi Wan facing Darth Vador in A New Hope) guess it was too subtle of a throw back for "fan" to remember.
Being a force ghost and dead is the same thing. No matter from where you look, it's the same thing.

It also doesn't change that Luke went out in an extremely lame way.
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