Kurrus
08-30-2011, 03:08 PM
I'll admit it today, I spend too much time on the internet. Most of that time is spent talking to many people in different languages, which means a lot of interaction over IM (Instant Messaging) on programs like Steam or Live Messenger, and sites like Facebook.
Over time I've started noticing a few trends that do nothing but signal the imminent self-destruction of humanity, crushed under its own stupidity. These are the 8 IM trends that need to die, for the sake of sanity. It makes me cringe when people I interact with...
1.- Send a message and forget completely about it less than 10 minutes later
Example:
13:20 - DumbPerson: wanna play some Terraria later today?
13:26 - Kurrus: sure
13:26 - DumbPerson: sure? sure what?
This one isn't really that annoying most of the time. The only thing you really need to do is click once, hit CTRL + C, click again, CTRL + V, hit Enter. Problem solved. Usually.
The issue here is how this speaks of whoever does it. Sometimes everyone has one of these days where you keep forgetting your own name, but some people do this three times per day. If you can't remember what you just told someone 6 minutes ago, for any reason, maybe you shouldn't be engaging in conversations at all. Talking to someone, over the internet, mail, text messages or any other medium requires mutual compromise. There's another person at the receiving end, after all.
When people do this, I remember these people that reply to the telephone/building's intercom/fax once, and then take 2 minutes to answer a second time. What the shit are you doing there? Did you close the com and immediately jump out of your window?
This one does reach ball-busting levels of frustration when the offender actually gets angry at you for copypasting their earlier message. That's the exact reason I wish you could punch people over standard internet protocols.
2.- Ignore the other's status and/or nickname
Example:
11:02 - DumbPerson: hey, wanna play some Terraria later?
11:29 - Dumbperson: hey
12:35 - DumbPerson: you there?
13:04 - DumbPerson: heeeeey
13:05 - Kurrus (VERY busy with school work): WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT AOFDHADSJAUDISJH
I'm not sure where this one comes from. Usually people change their status when they don't want to be annoyed, or when they want to let people know that, no matter how many poorly constructed misspelt messages they send, they won't magically teleport back to their computer and start chatting with them. The changed status then appears close to that person's nickname, usually with a different color, or at least a different message to "Online".
So then people open a conversation and start talking right away, expecting you to be there and start chatting as usual.
Some of you may point out that this kind of thing happens everywhere all the time. That IS true, but that doesn't really make my point any less valid - and, besides, the purpose of status effects is literally none but the one I described up there. Ignoring it is like using your car's brake fluids as toothpaste. Come to think of it, I kind of wish most people who did this also used brake fluid as toothpaste. And any other liquid they enjoy drinking.
3.- Completely ignore the existence of question marks
This doesn't really need an example.
Okay, so the whole territory of language is a minefield. Written communication is a tricky one, because there's no body language and no explicit way to change your tone - things like that are open to the reader's interpretation.
For the sake of speed, things like proper punctuation and capitalization are often skipped when writing a message. I can live with this. Some of these rules are sort of arbitrary anyway and don't change the meaning of your messages much.
But then people stop typing question marks. I can't stress how unbelievablely stupid this is. I can't think of any possible explanation (that doesn't involve severe brain hemorrhaging) besides some severe childhood trauma, or simply slacking off during every single class in school between grades 1 and 6 where the use and importance of question marks were explained, either directly or mentioning.
People, question marks are always necessary. In written communication, they're the one single thing letting others know what you just typed is a question. Sentence structure often doesn't work because that's also ignored to get the message sent quickly, and sometimes you can't tell with structure alone.
4.- Compulsively share content
Example:
16:44 - DumbPerson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7movKfyTBII&ob=av3e
16:47 - DumbPerson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DCVX_eBgM8&list=FLKWaUIutIOvXqwOrIkOFm-g&index=3&feature=plpp
16:48 - DumbPerson: http://www.google.es/imgres?q=cute+kitty&hl=es&biw=1280&bih=867&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=bIbJZi_ibRjmGM:&imgrefurl=http://www.guzer.com/pictures/cute_kitty2.php&docid=J-qyX0Bv0tsGAM&w=411&h=335&ei=hutcTpHyMszLswapyrGbDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=185&vpy=88&dur=2303&hovh=203&hovw=249&tx=194&ty=109&page=1&tbnh=136&tbnw=178&start=0&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0
16:48 - DumbPerson: rofl did you check the angry birds parody song
Often this isn't more than some good intentions mixed with the internet's ability to let us access all sorts of content in mere instants, so I don't really find it infuriating. However, it does get pretty annoying when you see these links you didn't ask for in the first place start piling up in the conversation window and the sender starts asking you about them. Sometimes, if you don't give signs of life or interest in opening the links, even explicitly saying you're not going to do it, the other person starts nagging you to do it anyway. It makes me wonder why they're wasting their time talking to me instead of becoming incredibly successful salesmen.
5.- Miss the point completely
Example:
17:22 - DumbPerson: what happened to your graphics card
17:22 - Kurrus: I can't replace it without getting a new PSU, but that won't happen for a while... the local stores are out of stock and I can't buy this kind of thing online
17:24 - DumbPerson: http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16817139016
I'm not sure about all these people, but my early years on school had a lot of classes and lessons orbiting around reading comprehension alone. Thanks to the internet, I realise how beneficial they were. However, I do regret not learning how to use automatic firearms before.
6.- Say "I'm bored"
No examples really needed.
This is a bit of a paradoxical statement. If you're chatting with someone and they drop this dreadful sentence, it means the following:
1- You are not providing them enough entertainment
2- It's your fault, or else they wouldn't tell you explicitly that they're bored
(Note that I don't refer to these times when "I'm bored" is used as an excuse to suggest something, or as sort of an opening to another sentence. For instance, starting a conversation saying "I'm bored, let's go make my dog do funny stuff" isn't wrong at all)
The problem with this is not what's written, it's what isn't. It shows the other person has an inflated sense of self-entitlement, little sympathy, and complete disregard for others' situation, all disguised as an apparently harmless remark. This is an incredibly rude thing to say and, jokes aside, really shows people's true colours. Not as much, however, as...
7.- Disguise STOP signals
Example:
18:10 - Kurrus: haha, I am so going to steal your socks (<- INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS JOKE)
18:11 - DumbPerson: ok...
When people do this to me, I seriously consider removing them from my friend lists and severing all possible interaction between us. It's tricky to tell exactly when you're just misunderstanding their ellipses, but sometimes it's quite evident.
When people do this, they're telling you that they want you to stop talking, but don't really think you deserve an explanation or anything. Just a subtle hint is all they're willing to give you. If the above thing is rude, this is just hostile. Obviously, this is completely justified if someone's making stupid jokes about very sensitive issues such as the death of a close person, but this happens rarely enough.
When I mention this anywhere, people are always quick to cry out that I'm overreacting. I'm overreacting if someone is subvertly telling me to shut up for no acceptable reason and I stop talking to them (forever), which is what they wanted in the first place? The thing is, if you want someone to shut up and stop making silly jokes about socks, you tell them that you want them to shut up and stop making silly jokes about socks. You don't frigging disguise it and then get upset because the other person didn't catch your unnecessary obscure hint.
8.- Abuse meaningless emoticons
Example:
19:47 - Kurrus: I hate it when people start using fireworks outside
19:48 - DumbPerson: :|
Finally, in a more lighthearted tone, is this. It's little more than an annoyance, but what the heck is that face even supposed to represent? A blank stare, which is pretty much the state of our faces 98% of the time anyway? A reference to Lady Gaga's poker face? Ellipses are sometimes used. Same thing.
I see this as people trying to make some sort of graphic novel out of a conversation. It's also entirely possible that I'm completely unaware of all the meanings these emoticons have (:F is another example) and these people are unwilling to explain. Either way, it just clutters up conversations.
And this, people, is why I fear the day I may get a job at technical support.
Over time I've started noticing a few trends that do nothing but signal the imminent self-destruction of humanity, crushed under its own stupidity. These are the 8 IM trends that need to die, for the sake of sanity. It makes me cringe when people I interact with...
1.- Send a message and forget completely about it less than 10 minutes later
Example:
13:20 - DumbPerson: wanna play some Terraria later today?
13:26 - Kurrus: sure
13:26 - DumbPerson: sure? sure what?
This one isn't really that annoying most of the time. The only thing you really need to do is click once, hit CTRL + C, click again, CTRL + V, hit Enter. Problem solved. Usually.
The issue here is how this speaks of whoever does it. Sometimes everyone has one of these days where you keep forgetting your own name, but some people do this three times per day. If you can't remember what you just told someone 6 minutes ago, for any reason, maybe you shouldn't be engaging in conversations at all. Talking to someone, over the internet, mail, text messages or any other medium requires mutual compromise. There's another person at the receiving end, after all.
When people do this, I remember these people that reply to the telephone/building's intercom/fax once, and then take 2 minutes to answer a second time. What the shit are you doing there? Did you close the com and immediately jump out of your window?
This one does reach ball-busting levels of frustration when the offender actually gets angry at you for copypasting their earlier message. That's the exact reason I wish you could punch people over standard internet protocols.
2.- Ignore the other's status and/or nickname
Example:
11:02 - DumbPerson: hey, wanna play some Terraria later?
11:29 - Dumbperson: hey
12:35 - DumbPerson: you there?
13:04 - DumbPerson: heeeeey
13:05 - Kurrus (VERY busy with school work): WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY WANT AOFDHADSJAUDISJH
I'm not sure where this one comes from. Usually people change their status when they don't want to be annoyed, or when they want to let people know that, no matter how many poorly constructed misspelt messages they send, they won't magically teleport back to their computer and start chatting with them. The changed status then appears close to that person's nickname, usually with a different color, or at least a different message to "Online".
So then people open a conversation and start talking right away, expecting you to be there and start chatting as usual.
Some of you may point out that this kind of thing happens everywhere all the time. That IS true, but that doesn't really make my point any less valid - and, besides, the purpose of status effects is literally none but the one I described up there. Ignoring it is like using your car's brake fluids as toothpaste. Come to think of it, I kind of wish most people who did this also used brake fluid as toothpaste. And any other liquid they enjoy drinking.
3.- Completely ignore the existence of question marks
This doesn't really need an example.
Okay, so the whole territory of language is a minefield. Written communication is a tricky one, because there's no body language and no explicit way to change your tone - things like that are open to the reader's interpretation.
For the sake of speed, things like proper punctuation and capitalization are often skipped when writing a message. I can live with this. Some of these rules are sort of arbitrary anyway and don't change the meaning of your messages much.
But then people stop typing question marks. I can't stress how unbelievablely stupid this is. I can't think of any possible explanation (that doesn't involve severe brain hemorrhaging) besides some severe childhood trauma, or simply slacking off during every single class in school between grades 1 and 6 where the use and importance of question marks were explained, either directly or mentioning.
People, question marks are always necessary. In written communication, they're the one single thing letting others know what you just typed is a question. Sentence structure often doesn't work because that's also ignored to get the message sent quickly, and sometimes you can't tell with structure alone.
4.- Compulsively share content
Example:
16:44 - DumbPerson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7movKfyTBII&ob=av3e
16:47 - DumbPerson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2DCVX_eBgM8&list=FLKWaUIutIOvXqwOrIkOFm-g&index=3&feature=plpp
16:48 - DumbPerson: http://www.google.es/imgres?q=cute+kitty&hl=es&biw=1280&bih=867&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=bIbJZi_ibRjmGM:&imgrefurl=http://www.guzer.com/pictures/cute_kitty2.php&docid=J-qyX0Bv0tsGAM&w=411&h=335&ei=hutcTpHyMszLswapyrGbDw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=185&vpy=88&dur=2303&hovh=203&hovw=249&tx=194&ty=109&page=1&tbnh=136&tbnw=178&start=0&ndsp=30&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0
16:48 - DumbPerson: rofl did you check the angry birds parody song
Often this isn't more than some good intentions mixed with the internet's ability to let us access all sorts of content in mere instants, so I don't really find it infuriating. However, it does get pretty annoying when you see these links you didn't ask for in the first place start piling up in the conversation window and the sender starts asking you about them. Sometimes, if you don't give signs of life or interest in opening the links, even explicitly saying you're not going to do it, the other person starts nagging you to do it anyway. It makes me wonder why they're wasting their time talking to me instead of becoming incredibly successful salesmen.
5.- Miss the point completely
Example:
17:22 - DumbPerson: what happened to your graphics card
17:22 - Kurrus: I can't replace it without getting a new PSU, but that won't happen for a while... the local stores are out of stock and I can't buy this kind of thing online
17:24 - DumbPerson: http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E16817139016
I'm not sure about all these people, but my early years on school had a lot of classes and lessons orbiting around reading comprehension alone. Thanks to the internet, I realise how beneficial they were. However, I do regret not learning how to use automatic firearms before.
6.- Say "I'm bored"
No examples really needed.
This is a bit of a paradoxical statement. If you're chatting with someone and they drop this dreadful sentence, it means the following:
1- You are not providing them enough entertainment
2- It's your fault, or else they wouldn't tell you explicitly that they're bored
(Note that I don't refer to these times when "I'm bored" is used as an excuse to suggest something, or as sort of an opening to another sentence. For instance, starting a conversation saying "I'm bored, let's go make my dog do funny stuff" isn't wrong at all)
The problem with this is not what's written, it's what isn't. It shows the other person has an inflated sense of self-entitlement, little sympathy, and complete disregard for others' situation, all disguised as an apparently harmless remark. This is an incredibly rude thing to say and, jokes aside, really shows people's true colours. Not as much, however, as...
7.- Disguise STOP signals
Example:
18:10 - Kurrus: haha, I am so going to steal your socks (<- INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS JOKE)
18:11 - DumbPerson: ok...
When people do this to me, I seriously consider removing them from my friend lists and severing all possible interaction between us. It's tricky to tell exactly when you're just misunderstanding their ellipses, but sometimes it's quite evident.
When people do this, they're telling you that they want you to stop talking, but don't really think you deserve an explanation or anything. Just a subtle hint is all they're willing to give you. If the above thing is rude, this is just hostile. Obviously, this is completely justified if someone's making stupid jokes about very sensitive issues such as the death of a close person, but this happens rarely enough.
When I mention this anywhere, people are always quick to cry out that I'm overreacting. I'm overreacting if someone is subvertly telling me to shut up for no acceptable reason and I stop talking to them (forever), which is what they wanted in the first place? The thing is, if you want someone to shut up and stop making silly jokes about socks, you tell them that you want them to shut up and stop making silly jokes about socks. You don't frigging disguise it and then get upset because the other person didn't catch your unnecessary obscure hint.
8.- Abuse meaningless emoticons
Example:
19:47 - Kurrus: I hate it when people start using fireworks outside
19:48 - DumbPerson: :|
Finally, in a more lighthearted tone, is this. It's little more than an annoyance, but what the heck is that face even supposed to represent? A blank stare, which is pretty much the state of our faces 98% of the time anyway? A reference to Lady Gaga's poker face? Ellipses are sometimes used. Same thing.
I see this as people trying to make some sort of graphic novel out of a conversation. It's also entirely possible that I'm completely unaware of all the meanings these emoticons have (:F is another example) and these people are unwilling to explain. Either way, it just clutters up conversations.
And this, people, is why I fear the day I may get a job at technical support.